Laughing at myself

After my post yesterday I delivered Sale Bills for my brother-in-law. I had to laugh at myself because by the end of the day I had counted 5 complete strangers that randomly spoke to me in passing. Guess that proves the invisible thing wrong. So where do I go from here?

I have decided the best thing I can do is keep in mind that I am a child of God and His view of me is the most important. So now I have to work on being His first and foremost. I can do that easily away from here. I find that living here brings the worst out in me and makes me act differently. Partly due to my own attitude of not wanting to be here, and partly due to my family. I find it way to easy to fall back into old patterns when I am around them. When I do that I hate what I see in myself. I know better than to let them pull me into the craziness that is their lives. I also know that living here I am more on edge than when I am away from here and I hate that too.

I think my lesson here is I need to find peace within myself so that I can live anywhere and not let others affect who I am. My entire life I have worked to get my earthly fathers approval. I realize now that I will never get a "well done" from him. I will always get a "you could have done better." So now I have to let go of that, it's not going to be easy but with God all things are possible. It is time to put the old ghosts to bed, and be who God called me to be.